Slideologist | A Probie I stumble out the door along with a seemingly endless flow of students, all of us with the same goal in mind: to get through the maze of Central High School without running into a wall of unmovable flesh and bone of the epitome of a hallway jam. The nerve-wracking experience of running into a hallway jam in the millisecond of … Continue reading Hallway Jams: The Crisis Explained

The #1 Student on theIneligibility List (283) | A Probie Since my freshman year at Central, teachers have been preaching the importance of good grades and attendance, like it’s a matter of life and death. I mean, really, is it possible to not have “three grades below seventy” if you’re taking Algebra 2 Honors AP Chem, and PE with a particularly strict teacher? Don’t even … Continue reading Academic Ineligibility:The New Distinguished Honors

Hungry Hippo (286) | A Probie As I walked out of fourth period on Thursday the twenty-third, I could feel that something in the air was different. Students were moving quicker than usual. Then, out of the corner of my eye, saw a kid bolting down the hall. Suddenly, more and more people were sprinting, pushing and shoving, all to get through the doors of … Continue reading The Hungry Games

Baby Daddy (284) and Baby Momma (284) | A Probie Making it to our junior year of high school without being in a romantic relationship, we didn’t think we would ever succumb to teenage pregnancy. It came as quite a shock to us that we would become teen parents, regardless. We started the adoption process on a Monday, and just three days later, we officially … Continue reading Bringing up Bebe

By: Divorce Attorney (284) | A Hunched Back Warrior As prom approaches for juniors and seniors, so does the big question many will ask: “Will you go to prom with me?” But the bigger question is, how does one go about asking this? There are several approaches below organized by love languages. Use theoptions that correspond with your crush’s preferred one and I guarantee you’ll … Continue reading How to Get a Date to Prom

By Professional Toaster (283) and Burnt Bagel Simp (283) | Executive Chefs On March 31st, 2024, Ms. Davis announced that all Central staff members would now require training for microwave usage privileges in the school. The implementation came after the February 23rd incident where a bagel was found burned in the first-floor English office microwave, leading to the entire school evacuating and multiple firefighters entering … Continue reading Central Dedicates Professional Development Days to Microwave Usage Training